Shun the NonBeliever
by BananaphoneBob
Summary: Sasuke knew he was crazy. But, as he compared the scene before him and the one on the screen, he knew he could empathise with a unicorn. And he didn't care. AU Rated T for swearing.


**Hello there, my gorgeous people! So, I've lately been REALLY obsessed with the **_**Charlie the Unicorn**_** series (two things if you have NOT watched it: One: WATCH IT! Two: … why are you on this story?) and I came to a realisation.**

**Team 7 IS Charlie and his 'friends'! SO, I decided to write a fic on it. Coz it made me giggle. I'm listening to as we speak. WE'RE ON A BRIDGE, CHARRRRLIEEE! **

**So. Yeah. **

**As for my actual stories … they'll be updated eventually. I know I suck. And that's all there is for that.**

**Summary: Sasuke knew he was crazy. But, as he compared the scenes before him and on the screen, he knew he could empathise with a unicorn. And he didn't care. AU**

**Disclaimer: Neither Naruto, nor **_**Charlie the Unicorn**_** belong to me. I WISH! **

**ENJOY!**

**Shun the Non-Believer.**

"We're going to Candy Mountain!"

"They took my freakin' kidney!"

Sasuke watched as his best friends giggled hysterically on the desk in front of him, tears practically spilling out of their eyes. Choosing to ignore the insanity, he turned his head to his other classmates. Shikamaru was asleep, much to the joy of Ino, who sat beside him, drawing, what she would call _pretty_ pictures on his bare arm. Choji was too busy eating to notice these events unfold, as he pulled out a new bag of crisps in line to be eaten once the current pack was finished. Turning to the right, Sasuke saw Kiba and Tenten having a debate over something, while Neji, who was supporting his girlfriend on his lap, sighed and paid attention to something deemed far more interesting than the argument. Hinata was reading a book, and Shino, who was beside her, seemed to be drawing a giant bug on his book. And then there was Lee -

"I WILL RUN 1000 LAPS AROUND THIS CLASSROOM, FOR IT IS A YOUTHFUL WAY TO START THE DAY!"

- Who had run a good 50 laps already, despite running into tables and other students.

Most of the other girls were swooning in his direction, so he simply rolled his eyes and turned back to the two people he supposed were called 'friends'.

"Oh, Sakura-chan! I'm gonna go home and watch it again! Believe it!"

"Naruto, I swear it's the most amazing thing to have ever been discovered! What do you think, Sasuke-kun?"

Upon hearing his name, Sasuke glanced up at the pink-haired girl sitting on the desk in front of him. She was staring down at him, her eyes bright with curiousity, and still brimming with the tears she was shedding moments ago.

He blinked a few times, before simply shrugging. He couldn't be bothered to speak, not even his trademark 'hn' would cut it. He was not a morning person, dammit!

The happy and curious eyes of the pink-haired wonder widened with shock. Did he not know what she was talking about? HOW could he not know what she was talking about? She slid off the desk and stood in front of the unknowing boy. He raised an eyebrow as she bent down to his level, forcing him to lean back in his chair due to her closeness.

"You know what we're talking about, right? WE'RE GOING TO CANDY MOUNTAIN, CHARLIE!"

"... My name isn't Charlie."

It was now Sakura's turn to blink blankly at Sasuke, as Naruto followed suite. He too jumped off the desk he was sitting on and leaned towards Sasuke's face.

"C'mon, teme, you _have_ to know! The Liopleurodon! Everyone knows about the Liopleurodon!"

Sasuke sighed, not even attempting to decipher Naruto's crazy talk. He felt more eyes on him, and turned to see Kiba and Tenten gawk at him.

"Am I hearing correctly, Sakura?"

"You are, Kiba. I … don't think he knows …"

Kiba promptly stood up from his seat, Tenten following closely behind him (while Neji, who only turned from the window after feeling his legs become colder, didn't attempt to hide the disappointment from his face) and they too joined Sakura and Naruto in their interrogation atmosphere.

"HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW ABOUT CHARLIE THE UNICORN!"

"…"

Silence ensued for a good ten minutes or so. Even Hinata (who never got pulled away from her reading) and Shino (who never got distracted from his doodles of bugs) were staring in Sasuke's direction.

Sasuke thought about what was happening here. Was he dreaming? It wasn't unlike him to dream about school, but this was definitely a weird one. Was the entire class _really_ staring at him inquisitively about his lack of knowledge on a _unicorn_? Were any of them aware that unicorns didn't actually exist?

In the midst of all his thinking, Sasuke didn't notice a pen being hurtled towards his head. With perfect aim, Ino laughed as the pen she was previously using to write on Shikamaru hit Sasuke in the side of the head, enough to actually make the boy flinch. His black orbs moved directly to her, glaring murderously.

"Worth it."

Sasuke turned his eyes from the blonde female after noticing the triumphant smirk on her lips. In return, she frowned and turned back to Shikamaru, only now realising that she had no pen to draw on him with. Ino shrugged and placed her head on her arms, closing her eyes, ready to be in the same position as Shikamaru (minus the drawings).

It was times like this Sasuke hated how late Kakashi-sensei would come to the lesson. Glancing at the clock, Sasuke realised that Kakashi was actually _later_ than usual. _'Just my luck …stupid teacher.'_

"Sasuke … hello? Sasuke-kun … is anybody home?"

Sasuke shook his head and looked up at Sakura, who was waving frantically in front of his face. He scowled and grabbed her wrist, before placing her hand back at her side.

"Sasuke, this is serious shit. I was gonna go to Sakura-chan's house after school for some homework help, but you're going to come with us. You have to see Charlie the Unicorn. EVERYONE has seen Charlie the Unicorn!"

Sasuke, too tired to complain and too freaked out to reply, simply shrugged again before, of course, when he was no longer in misery, Kakashi-sensei walked through the door.

"Morning, class! Sorry I'm late, I was thinking about the true meaning of li-"

"LIAR!"

Kakashi sighed at the routine shouts from the students of the class. He turned his head towards Ino and Shikamaru sleeping, and grinned. Grabbing his most favourite ruler, he slammed it onto their desk, causing Ino to bolt upright, wide-eyed and frantic, and Shikamaru to groggily lift his head up.

"Lesson's started, my dears. Pay. Attention."

Shikamaru grabbed his school stuff from his bag while Ino also ran over to Sasuke to retrieve her pen, and Kakashi turned to face the board.

"By the way, Ino … nice artwork."

* * *

><p>Once Kakashi had finally entered the classroom, the entire school day seemed to go by pretty quickly. Sakura and Naruto continuously giggled about 'Charlie the Unicorn' while Sasuke did his work, paying little to no attention to the stuff he was actually writing.<p>

He wasn't sure why this was getting to him. He was an _Uchiha_, for Kami's sake – he didn't need to believe in unicorns and the like. Yet the stares people (even Shino, who had, according to Naruto, seen this unicorn so many times he could practically recite everything said … which only made Sasuke more confused) were giving him were starting to make him uneasy. It wasn't like the stares the fangirls gave him – he was used to that horrifying image – it was how people giggled … _about him_.

He never liked gossip, and he never liked people who dished it out. But here, in Konoha High, Sasuke was being ridiculed all because of a funny looking horse. He didn't like the way Lee (who quickly finished his 1000 laps when Kakashi threatened to cut his legs off) would shout that "CHARLIE IS THE MOST YOUTHFUL CREATURE EVER!" at random moments during a lesson. He didn't like the way Naruto drew pictures (well … tried to) of this unicorn, so that Sakura could giggle and add her own markings to the drawing. He didn't like the way Hinata's usually sweet and kind smile turned into a patronising one, as if trying to suppress laughter every time she looked his way. He didn't like the way Shikamaru's face _actually_ held emotion as Ino replayed the story for him (but he was amused at how Shikamaru refused to speak to Ino for half the day due to the massive penis drawn on his arm, courtesy of the Yamanaka).

He just didn't like anything.

Before he even realised, the bell rang to signify the end of the day, and everyone started packing up their belongings and running to get away from the hell that was school. Since it was Friday, nobody hung around the building for long, and soon Sasuke, Sakura and Naruto walked out of the school grounds, their steps in sync.

As much as Sasuke wanted to turn right while the two friends turned left as they reached the gate, he couldn't help but be a _little_ intrigued about this so-called unicorn. He did want to know what all the hubbub was about, and so, at the end of the gate, although he knew there was a very high chance he would regret it, he turned left with Naruto and Sakura.

Both seemed pleased at his willingness to go to Sakura's house with them, and Naruto was practically bouncing with excitement as they reached the familiar green door of the Haruno household. Barely after Sakura had unlocked it, Naruto bounded inside, muttering a quick "good afternoon, Mrs Haruno" to her mother before he ran up the stairs to Sakura's bedroom.

Sakura and Sasuke calmly walked in afterwards, Sasuke politely bowing while Sakura smiled at her mother.

"Hello, Sakura-chan, good afternoon Sasuke. I thought Naruto was coming over to do homework? He seems very … eager. I never realised Sasuke needed help, too."

Sasuke almost choked at the assumption Mrs Haruno made. He was smart. In everything. He would _never_ need help with something like homework.

Sakura must've sensed his tension, as she quickly chuckled nervously, "Oh, no, mum, Sasuke's not here for the homework. Me and Naruto are gonna show him Charlie the Unicorn, he hasn't seen it before."

Sasuke had known the Haruno family for years. Since he, Sakura and Naruto had become friends when they were about 6, and since Naruto didn't have parents, and Sasuke's family were just … too Uchiha-like, the three often spent time at Sakura's house, where her mother would always cook them food and take care of them as if he and Naruto were her own children. He had come to know Mrs Haruno quite well (though he never once used her first name. He had been taught to respect his elders, and while he may not do it at school, he genuinely rather liked Sakura's mother.) over the years, and knew she would be on his side with this whole unicorn fiasco. She was not a superstitious person, and Sakura's precious unicorn would not be cared about by a woman such as Mrs Haruno.

"You haven't seen Charlie? How can you not have seen Charlie the Unicorn! Even I have! But then, what else do you expect when I live here? Thanks to Sakura even if I'm not seeing it I'm hearing it every day. You kids go ahead, and have fun! Oh, by the way, Sakura, could you just wash the dishes for me? I would do it but … well, I'm just too lazy."

Sakura sighed dejectedly, before nodding. "Okay, Sasuke, I just gotta do the dishes, but I will be there in a minute. You can go ahead, I bet Naruto's waiting."

Sasuke nodded and walked out of the room, while Sakura turned the other way and headed for the kitchen. Mrs Haruno grinned in satisfaction, before slumping down onto the sofa to continue watching the current T.V show.

* * *

><p>Wiping her hand across her forehead, Sakura sighed, staring at the pile of now clean plates before her. Shaking her hands free of any excess water, she dried them on the shirt of her uniform before making her way up to her bedroom.<p>

Opening the door, she came across Naruto grinning eagerly at her computer screen, the YouTube video fully loaded, just waiting to be played. Sakura looked around her room, a frown forming on her face.

"Where's Sasuke?"

Naruto jumped, apparently not noticing Sakura's presence until she spoke. He turned to her, his face matching hers as he looked behind her, "I thought he was with you. I haven't been paying attention."

Sakura scrunched her face up and turned around. She knew Sasuke hadn't been here for a while, but there was no way he could have forgotten where her room was. The majority of their childhood days were spent having pillow fights or reading ghost stories to each other or hiding in the wardrobe for when Naruto came late.

She walked back down the stairs after checking every other room upstairs. Her guess that he was in the bathroom quickly vanished as she found the door open and the room Sasuke-less. She walked through the hallway, glancing out of the window to the back garden, before she stopped in her tracks.

She opened the patio door and walked over to the black-haired male, who looked annoyed and bored, and, since Sakura's 'Sasuke senses' were on top today, a little disappointment.

"Sasuke-kun … what are you doing in my garden?"

He shrugged, looking around as if he was trying to find something. Sakura rolled her eyes as she grabbed his arm and took him back inside, "C'mon, Sasuke. Naruto's waiting."

Confused, Sasuke let her lead him up the stairs and into her room, where Naruto sat at the computer. Upon Sasuke and Sakura's arrival, Naruto jumped out of the seat and pushed Sasuke into it instead, pressing 'play' and allowing the wonders to flow through Sakura's room.

"Agh, they took my freakin' kidney!"

As the credits went up, Sasuke stared, transfixed, at the screen. The last 6 minutes of his life had been spent watching a video about three animated unicorns going to a mountain of candy. He wasn't sure his brain could comprehend the … stupidity of it.

Yet, he actually found it quite enjoyable.

He heard noises coming from behind him, so he turned in the swivel chair to come across a strange scene.

"Come with us Sasukeeeeeeeee!"

Naruto and Sakura were swaying like trees, holding curled up pieces of paper in their hands against their heads to represent horns. Naruto's scarily high-pitched voice echoed in Sasuke's mind as he took in what was going on.

"Yeah, Sasukeeee! It'll be an adventureee! We're going on an adventure, Sasukeeee!"

Sakura's more fitting voice tormented the poor Uchiha as he just blinked blankly at the two pretend 'unicorns'.

Sasuke knew he was crazy. But, as he compared the scene before him and the one on the screen, he knew he could empathise with a unicorn. And he didn't care.

He knew telling people about knowing how a unicorn feels would probably get him locked in a mental asylum, so, choosing to hide his thoughts in the comfort of his mind, he closed his eyes, pinched his nose between his thumb and forefinger and said his first word of the day.

"Fuck."

**So, there you guys have it! I literally did this in one day, only a few hours. Are you proud or WHAT! **

**So yeah, I just got really bored, and, since I have my A Level English exam on Monday, where I still know barely anything about **_**Wuthering Heights**_** except that it's not that great a book, I have to to SO much revision this weekend. Which means -gasp- I may not even go on the computer much! So when I do, I wanna see a lot of reviews, because then I will love you guys F.O.R.E.V.E.R!**

**My first non-SasuSaku centric story! I wasn't really gonna have any romance or anything, but the NejiTen and the kind-of implied ShikaIno just sorta … happened. But still! This is proof that I can write things that aren't about SasuSaku! It was weird writing them as just friends though … I wanted to be like 'her eyes prettier than he remembered' and 'he felt a shock when she touched him … it was like electricity' blah blah blah, but I stopped myself. I know it's not the best quality work I've written, but it's something to keep you all happy while I fail my exams and attempt the next chapter of **_**The Wrong One**_**. I hate fight scenes -.-**

**OH YEAH! For those who are confused (coz I'm sure it's quite a few of you) I was gonna have an extra scene with the reason behind Sasuke being in the garden, but it wouldn't have worked after the story and if I put it in with the rest, the ending wouldn't have been as good with the whole 'he actually never said anything up until now L.O.L' so … yeah:**

**Basically, it was a funny thing where Sasuke actually thought Sakura owned a unicorn. It would've gone along the lines of:**

"_Sasuke-kun … what are you doing in my garden?"_

"_Where is it?"_

_Sakura looked at Sasuke, confusion all over her face as he scanned the garden as if he was looking for something._

"_Where … is what?"_

"_The unicorn. Charlie. Where is he? Shouldn't you have a stable?"_

_It took Sakura three seconds before she burst into a fit of laughter, unable to control herself. Sasuke glared at her bent-double figure, wondering what was so funny._

_After about five minutes, she calmed herself down, wiping some tears away from her eyes. "Oh Sasuke. You are a funny one. Charlie the Unicorn is a video. On YouTube. He's not real. Unicorns aren't real, Sasuke. _

_Sasuke stood, dumbfounded. He was sure he had never looked like more of an idiot in his entire life._

_Sakura rolled her eyes as she grabbed his arm and took him back inside, "C'mon, Sasuke. Naruto's waiting." _

**Or something like that. Well, whaddiya know, I just gave y'all a nice little deleted scene. Sweet.**

**Oh, and in advance: Yaaay … thank you SO much for favouriting/alerting but not sparing an extra 1 second to write 'good' or 'bad' in a review. Really. Much appreciated. (Notice the sarcasm, anyone?)**

**Anyway, I'm off now. Today is now tomorrow, and I'm tired. I gots to get me ready to revise!**

**I hope you liked it, drop off a review and I will reply with a lot of love :)**

**Over and out!**

**-x-Emma-x-**


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